Final Fantasy VII Remake Script Comparison: Chapter 9 – Part 2

Cloud is given one of two sets of sidequests, depending on certain actions and dialogue choices made while previously wandering around Wall Market. Chocobo Sam’s set of quests mirrors the various tasks Cloud had to undertake in the original to create his disguise. We start out helping the clothing store owner’s son retrieve his father from the bar.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
服屋の息子　いらっしゃいませ　なにか　お探しの商品が——	Clothing Store Owner’s Son Welcome! Anything in particular you’re looking for?
服屋の息子　ああ　あんたが例のなんでも屋か　頼みたいのは　あれだ	Clothing Store Owner’s Son Oh, you must be the merc I’ve been hearing about! I need you to help me out with…my dad.
服屋の息子　居酒屋で飲んだくれてる　うちのオヤジを　連れ戻してほしくてね	Clothing Store Owner’s Son His drunk ass has been at the bar for hours now. Could you bring him back here?	「たぶん、居酒屋で　飲んだくれてますよ」	“He’s probably plastered at the bar.”
服屋の息子　すぐそこの『酔いどれ』って　店にいるから　よろしくな	Clothing Store Owner’s Son He’s probably three sheets in over at Drunkards’. Just over there.	「本当っすか！　おねがいしますよ、　あのバカ親父を　どうにかしてくださいよ。　もう、困り果ててたんすよ………」	“Really!? Please help my crazy old dad. I just don’t know what to do anymore…”

Because Aerith’s currently getting changed, Johnny accompanies Cloud instead. Even so, the clothing store owner still gets confused over the use of 親父 (oyaji ; “father/old man”) and declares that he’s not their father.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
ジョニー　あんたが　オヤジだな	Johnny Hey! Old dude!	エアリス「あの～、服屋の親父さん、　ですよね？」	Aeris “Excuse us, are you the father of the girl at the Clothing Store?”
服屋のオヤジ　ワシの息子は　こんなアホ面だったか？	Clothing Store Owner Huh…? Son, is that you? Did you always look so…moronic?	「確かに服屋だが　あなたの親父ではないぞ」	“I own the Clothes Shop… but I ain’t your father.”
ジョニー　アホ面だと？　とにかく　オレと一緒に店に　帰ってもらうぜ	Johnny Wha—? Well, right back at ya! Ugh, whatever. We’re here to take you back to the store.	エアリス「そんなこと、言ってない……」	Aeris “I didn’t say that…”
服屋のオヤジ　いやじゃ！　ワシは　ワシはもう　ダメなんじゃ……	Clothing Store Owner I’m not going back! Not ever! My life is ruined. It’s over. Kill me now!	「ふ～　うまくいかんもんだのう」	“Man, times are bad.”
ジョニー　そんなこと言うなよ　オヤジ　オレ　力になるからさ	Johnny Come on, there’s no need to talk like that, old dude! I’ll help you out with whatever you need!

They set off for the materia vendor in search of the clothing store owner’s “inspiration.” A tiny bit of the dialogue matches up in Japanese: お兄さん（たち）を男と見こんで (o-nii-san(tachi) wo otoko to mikonde), literally something like “placing my confidence in you/finding you promising as men.” Or as the English translations put it “talking man-to-man” or “only ‘real men’ can do this.” He once again wants Cloud to get something from the vending machine in the inn, though for a different reason this time.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
マテリア屋　でも　そうだな　頼みを聞いてくれるなら　考えないでもない	Materia Vendor But I tell you what. I’ll consider giving it back in exchange for…a favor.
ジョニー　なんだよ	Johnny …Whatcha need?
マテリア屋　兄さんたちを　男と見込んでの頼みだ	Materia Vendor Something only…”real men” can deliver.	「なあ、お兄さん。　お兄さんを男と見こんで　相談があるんだけど　聞いてくれないかな？」	“Hey man. Got a minute? I need to talk…man to man.”
マテリア屋　宿屋の自販機で買ってきてほしい　ものがある　アレだよ　アレ	Materia Vendor I need you to go and get me something from the vending machine at the inn. You know what. You know!	「で、本題なんだけど　宿屋の中に自動販売機があるのは　知っているか？」	“Now here’s the thing. Do you know that vending machine in the Inn?”
		「俺はあの自動販売機でなにを　売っているのか気になって　しょうがないんだよ。　ちょっと女性には　頼めない物らしいんだよ」	“I’m itchin’ to know what they’re selling in it. I just can’t ask a girl to go get it.”
ジョニー　宿屋　じはんき……アレか	Johnny No, I don’t think I… Wait. The Sauce!
クラウド　アレって？	Cloud The Sauce?
マテリア屋　野暮なこと聞くなよ！　……んじゃ　よろしくな	Materia Vendor Stop saying “the Sauce!” …Anyway. Good luck.

Instead of choosing which thing to buy, Cloud has to pass a skill check this time.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
ジョニー　あった　この自販機ですよ	Johnny That’s it. That’s the one!	(1) クラウド「これのことか」　　　買わない　　　２００ギルの物　　　１００ギルの物　　　５０ギルの物	(1) Cloud “Does he mean this?” 　　　Don’t buy it 　　　Buy the one for 200 Gil 　　　Buy the one for 100 Gil 　　　Buy the one for 50 Gil
ジョニー　ぱっと見は　普通の自販機　だが　しかし！	Johnny It looks like a regular old vending machine, right? But wait!
ジョニー　教えてあげましょう	Johnny You ready for this?
ジョニー　いいですか　このテの自販機には　秘密のボタンがあるんです	Johnny All right. This particular model has secret buttons.
クラウド　どこに？	Cloud Where?
ジョニー　それは　秘密ですから	Johnny Well…I can’t tell you—it’s a secret!

Upon retrieving the item, the materia vendor says he has his motivation (やる気 ; yaruki) back now, as before. Though E Remake hones in more on the innuendo here.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
マテリア屋　さてと　やる気も出てきたし　マテリアも磨いてやんなきゃな～	Materia Vendor Well, that’s that. Time to polish the ol’ orbs, give them a spit shine so they positively sparkle!	「お兄さん、ありがとうよ。　やる気になってきたぜ。　気持ちていどだけど、　もらってくれよ」	“Thanks, bud. I’m motivated now. Take this, it’s not much…”
マテリア屋　ほら　用が済んだなら出てけって	Materia Vendor Hey. If you’re done here, then get goin’ already!

Next they head to the diner. Johnny stops outside, looking over the menu. Again, the food options are the same as the original, though E Remake simplifies them to “meat, fish, and special” here, probably to fit the Japanese timing.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
ジョニー　今日のメニューは　焼肉定食に　さしみ定食　オススメも捨てがたいなあ	Johnny Let’s see what’s on the menu today. Meat, fish, and…ooh, that special looks good.	クラウド「そうだな………」　　　焼肉定食　　　さしみ定食　　　今日のおすすめ	Cloud “Hmm…” 　　　Korean B.B.Q. Plate 　　　Sushi Plate 　　　Today’s Special

The owner invites them to take an empty seat, though the diner is now much emptier than in the original.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
定食屋のオヤジ　らっしゃいませ　お好きな席へどうぞ	Restaurant Owner Welcome! Feel free to take any open seats.	「いらっしゃい！　どうぞ、お好きなところへ」	“Welcome! Sit wherever you like!”

After sitting down for a meal, the owner offers Cloud a voucher/coupon for the pharmacy, like in the original. Though this time it’s as an apology (if you failed the skill check) or as thanks (if you passed the skill check) and not part of a promotion.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
定食屋のオヤジ　あ～あ　美味しそうに　食べてたから　感想　聞きたかったのに	Restaurant Owner What a shame. He seemed to be enjoying the meal so I wanted to ask him what he thought.
定食屋のオヤジ　でも　アンタのおかげで　助かったよ	Restaurant Owner Maybe next time. Anyway, thanks for your help.
定食屋のオヤジ　これ　お礼と薬屋商品クーポン　彼に薬でも買ってあげて	Restaurant Owner Oh—and here’s a voucher along with my gratitude. Get the poor guy some medicine, will ya?	(2) 「ありがとうございました。　薬屋商品クーポンをどうぞ。　薬屋で、商品ひとつと交換　できます」	(2) “Thank you. Here’s an item coupon for the Pharmacy.”
			“You can exchange it for one item there.”

The pharmacist takes the voucher and sends Cloud out to help other sick people. The “should’ve said something sooner” in E Remake may be a reference to the pharmacist’s line from the original, but it’s unclear if this was intentional.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	E PC
薬屋　あんた　クーポンを持ってるのか　とにかく　中へ入ってくれ	Pharmacist Oh, that a voucher you got there? Should’ve said something sooner. Come on in.	「いるならいるって　言ってくださいよ」	“Don’t just stand there, say something!!”
薬屋　ったく　今日はやけに病人が　多いな	Pharmacist What is it with today? People are dropping like flies.	「おや、クーポンをお持ちですね。　それでは、商品を１つだけ　選んでください」	“Oh, you have a coupon? Then please select any one medicine you like.”
クラウド　こいつ以外にも　いるのか	Cloud Besides this dumbass?
薬屋　ああ　薬の注文が立て続けに　入ってね　ちょうど配達に出る　ところだったんだが	Pharmacist Loads of ’em. I got enough outstanding orders to fill a book. I was about to leave and make some deliveries, but…
ジョニー　うう……気持ち悪い	Johnny I’m gonna hurl…
薬屋　こいつを　置いていくわけにも　いかないしな	Pharmacist Can’t very well leave him alone, now can I?
薬屋　そうだ　あんた　代わりに薬を届けてきて　くれないか	Pharmacist Hey, you’re not doing much. Maybe you can deliver that medicine for me.

If Cloud has a high enough level materia, he’ll get three different medicines which are exactly the same as the three options he’s given in the original. E Remake changes them a bit to make more sense in context and use more medical-sounding words.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
薬屋　その格好　軍人さんか　なんかだろ？	Pharmacist You’re, what, military or something, right?
薬屋　”ちりょう”の経験も　そこそこあるんじゃないか　と思ってさ	Pharmacist Then you must know a thing or two about dealing with the sick and injured.
薬屋　助かるよ　そうだな　あんたにまかせられそうなのは……	Pharmacist You’re a lifesaver—literally. So, lemme see, what needs delivering…
薬屋　この薬を届けてくれ　ひとり分だ	Pharmacist Here—need you to deliver this to someone.
『消毒薬』を入手した。『消臭薬』を入手した。『消化薬』を入手した。	Bottle of antiemetic obtained. Deodorizing tablets obtained. Packets of antacid obtained.	消毒薬消臭薬消化薬	Disinfectant Deodorant Digestive
薬屋　依頼主は　そのあたりで　倒れてるはずだ　症状を見て　合う薬を渡してくれ	Pharmacist You’ll probably find this guy sprawled out on the ground somewhere. But make sure you check his symptoms before giving him meds.

The first patient Cloud helps is the person monopolizing the toilet in the restaurant. They’re grateful, as before, but the dialogue itself is completely rewritten.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
患者　あの定食屋のメシ　毒でも入ってたのか？	Patient It was poisoned, I tell ya. The sick sonuvabitch puts poison in his food…	「ねえ、あんたなんか薬　もってないかい？　はしゃぎ過ぎちゃってさ…… 　う………」	“Got any medicine on you? I’m too hyper…and…ugh.”
クラウド　薬を持ってきた　見せてみろ	Cloud I’ve got meds. Lemme take a look at you.
患者　ありがとう　助かったよ！　これ　大したもんじゃないけど　　よかったら	Patient Thanks, buddy! You saved my life. Here, it’s not much, but it’s yours.	「え？　本当にくれるのかい？　ありがたくもらうよ」	“Huh? You’ll really give me some? Thanks.”
		「ふー、すっきりしたよ。　お礼に、これあげるよ」	“Phew, I feel better now. This is for your kindness.”

In the end, it turns out the clothing store owner’s inspiration is a VIP pass to the Honeybee Inn, possibly a reference to the Honeybee Inn member’s card that Cloud has to collect in the original.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
薬屋　アタリ！　ここいらの店主仲間は　昔からの腐れ縁でな	Pharmacist Bingo. Y’see, all us Wall Market entrepreneurs go way back.
薬屋　毎晩集まっては　景品を賭けて勝負してんのよ	Pharmacist We get together for a game every night, bet all kinds of stuff.
薬屋　巡りめぐって　こいつが俺んとこに来て　はい　今はあんたのもの	Pharmacist This found its way into the pool, and eventually into my possession. And now it’s yours ’cause hey—why the hell not.
薬屋　超レアもの　限られた人間しか手にできない　あの　VIP会員証だ	Pharmacist It’s a VIP card, highly coveted and extremely rare. They’re only given to a select few.	「おっ！右手にかがやく　『会員カード』　どうぞ、お通りください」	“Hey! Is that a “Member’s Card” I see shining in your hot little hand?”

Upon concluding the quest, the clothing store owner and Johnny can be found talking in the clothing store. They have dialogue reflecting the dress options in the original, specifically: さわっと (sawatto ; describing a gentle touch/tickling sensation) and つやつや (tsuyatsuya ; a glossy, understated shimmer).

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
服屋のオヤジ　おまえも一緒に選ぶか？　この　さわっとしたヤツなんかどうじゃろ	Clothing Store Owner Huh? You wanna help us pick a dress? Alrighty, what d’you think of this real skimpy one here?	エアリス「はだ触りは」　　　さらっとしたの　　　さわっとしたの	Aeris “Something…” 　　　That feels clean 　　　That feels soft
ジョニー　こっちのツヤツヤなのも　よさそうだぜ	Johnny This silky one over here’s kinda nice, too!	エアリス「ひかり具合は」　　　きらきらしたの　　　つやつやしたの	Aeris “And something…” 　　　shiny 　　　that shimmers

Johnny and the owner also fight over which dress is best, just how the owner and his son fought over which dress Aerith should wear in the original. In fact, his response in Japanese is exactly the same, roughly “No, no, this one’s better.”

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
ジョニー　なあ　この服は	Johnny Hey, how’s about this?	「これは、どうでしょう？」	“How’s this?”
服屋のオヤジ　いやいや　こっちの方がいいぞ	Clothing Store Owner What’re you, crazy? This one’s much better!	「いやいや、こっちの方がいいぞ」	“How about that one?”

Cloud also gets a quest to visit the gym, the place where he had to do squats to win a wig in the original. This time he’s just there to do squats for the fun of it, so the dialogue is a bit different, but one of the gym goers still gets worked up about facing Cloud.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
？？？？　待ってたよクラウドくん　ようこそ　エクササイズ・ジム　『ダンダンダン』へ	??? Cloud! Been waitin’ for you to show up. Thanks for coming, and welcome to our humble training hall.	「あなたね？　かわいくなりたいのは」	“Are you the one who wants to be cute?”
ジーナン　トレーナーの　ジーナンだ	Jules Jules—head trainer.
ジーナン　突然で申し訳ないんだけど　うちの会員とひと勝負　お願いしたくてね	Jules If you’ve got some time to spare, how about a little bit of fun? Wanna try taking on one of our guys?	「そうね。　こいつらとスクワットで　勝負しましょう」	“You’re right. Let’s do squats.”
ゼン・ワン　本気ですか　ボス	Ronnie You’re not serious, are you?
ゼン・ワン　こんなピヨピヨくん　一瞬で　むしり潰しちまいやすぜ	Ronnie Look at him! He’s a scrawny little thing. I could snap him like a twig!	「ようがす！　わしらが　コテンパンにして　さしあげますぜ！」	“All right! We’ll beat you out of this gym!”

And the head of the gym still rebukes them when they complain about losing.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
ゼン・ワン　なぜ　なぜこんな　貧弱な筋肉しか持たぬ　ピヨピヨに……	Ronnie How—? How the hell did I lose to this scrawny little kid who looks like he doesn’t even consume his daily recommended amount of protein?	「兄貴っー　くやしいっすよー　むちゃくちゃ　くやしいっすよー！」	“Big Bro I’m so mad I’m so so so—mad!”
ジーナン　筋肉は量じゃなくて質だ　　ゼン・ワン	Jules Ronnie—you know it’s all about quality, not mass!	「やかましー！　負けたあげくに、めそめそすん　じゃねえ！」	“Shut up! Don’t cry, just because you lost!”

The quest ends with Jules saying that Cloud’s a member of their gym family now (兄弟 ; kyoudai ; “brothers/siblings”), possibly a reference to how they all called each other 兄貴 (aniki ; “big bro”) in the original game. (See my original FF7 series for more info.)

Japanese Remake	English Remake
ジーナン　クラウドくん　キミはもう　このジムにとって兄弟も同然だ	Jules Cloud, we’re all one big family here at this gym, and now you’re part of it.
ジーナン　体を動かしたくなった時は　いつでも遊びに来て　一緒に素晴らしい肉体と精神を手に入れよう！	Jules If you’re ever up for training, our doors are always open to you. Let’s work together to maintain healthy minds and bodies.

Eventually, Aerith appears in her dress. If you did all the sidequests in Sector 5, she’ll have a dress similar to the one she wore in the original game.

Though instead of confidently picking it out for herself as in the original, this time she seems much more uncomfortable in it, which is a rather unfortunate change, in my opinion.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
エアリス　うん	Aerith Yeah.
エアリス　コルネオは　こういうのが好きなんだって	Aerith Corneo’s got certain…tastes.
エアリス　なんか　あちこち盛られて　不愉快	Aerith This dress is so gaudy and impossible to move in…	エアリス「あ、わたし、これがいい」	Aeris “…I want THIS one.”

Cloud gets second thoughts and decides he can’t let Aerith go into the don’s mansion alone. It’s a pretty standard phrasing, but the Japanese matches the original with 行かせるわけには (ikaseru wake ni ha), trailing off and leaving the final ない (nai) unspoken. Altogether it means roughly, “cannot allow (you) to go.”

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
クラウド　ここは思っていたよりも　危険なところらしい	Cloud I’m starting to think this place is more dangerous than we thought.
クラウド　オーディションで　なにをさせられるのかも　わからない	Cloud Who knows what they’ll ask you to do in this “audition.”
クラウド　やはり　ひとりで行かせる　わけには——	Cloud No way in hell I’ll let you go in there by yourself.	クラウド「かといってエアリスに　いかせるわけには…… 　いや、しかし……」	Cloud “But, I just can’t let you go in alone… Oh, man…”

Aerith leads him to the Honeybee Inn and informs him that he’ll be getting a makeover.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
エアリス　そしたら　クラウドもいっしょに　コルネオのところ　入れるでしょ？	Aerith You said you didn’t want me going alone, right? Well, with Andrea’s help, you can join me.
エアリス　クラウド　女の子の服も似合うと思う	Aerith It’ll be fun! And honestly, I think you’ll look pretty cute in a dress.	エアリス「クラウド、女の子に　変装しなさい。　それしかない、うん」	Aeris “Cloud, why don’t you dress up like a girl? It’s the only way.”

Cloud hesitates and Aerith reminds him that it’s all for Tifa’s sake, just like in the original game.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
エアリス　だから　絶対いけるよ	Aerith Trust me, this is gonna work out great.
クラウド　いや……	Cloud Uhh…	クラウド「エアリス！　いくらなんでも……」	Cloud “Aeris! I can’t…”
エアリス　ティファを助けるため　でしょ？	Aerith C’mon. Don’t you wanna save Tifa?	エアリス「ティファさんが　心配なんでしょ？　さ、早く早く！」	Aeris “You ARE worried about Tifa, aren’t you? Then come on, hurry!”

After Cloud’s fantastic performance and transformation, Aerith calls him かわいい (kawaii). Many people will recognize this word as meaning “cute,” but it’s a little more flexible than that, as E Remake shows.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
エアリス　かわいい～！	Aerith But you’re so pretty!	エアリス「クラウドちゃん、かわいい」	Aeris “Oh you’re so cute, Miss Cloud.”

It’s difficult to catch, but as Cloud walks away, Aerith tells him to watch the way he walks. She also tells him to do this in the original, though the dialogue itself is different.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
エアリス　歩き方に注意	Aerith Hey, watch the way you walk.	エアリス「おしとやかに歩いてね。　クラウドちゃん」	Aeris “Walk more nicely like…this, Miss Cloud.”

This time, Corneo’s henchman directs Cloud and Aerith to the second floor, though he still warns them not to wander around.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオの手下　オーディションの参加者だな	Corneo Lackey The two of you here for the audition?	「お～い、おネエちゃんたち」	“Hey, ladies.”
コルネオの手下　階段を上がって　いちばん奥の部屋だ　あまりうろちょろするん　じゃないぞ	Corneo Lackey Second floor, at the very end of the walk. And don’t go pokin’ your nose in where it doesn’t belong!	「いまドンにしらせてくるからさ。　ここで待っててくんな。　ウロウロしないでくれよ」	“I’ll go and let the Don know you’re here. Wait here. Don’t go wandering around…”

As before, Tifa doesn’t recognize Cloud at first and is extremely surprised to discover that it’s him. Also, Cloud’s response in E Remake is so great.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
ティファ　えーっと……	Tifa Wait a minute.	ティファ「？？？？」	Tifa “????”
ティファ　もしかして　クラウド？	Tifa Cloud!? Is that you!?	ティファ「クラウド！？」	Tifa “Cloud!?”
ティファ　お化粧してる？　その格好！	Tifa Oh my god, that makeup! And that dress!	ティファ「その格好はどうしたの！？　ここでなにしてるの！？」	Tifa “Why are you dressed like that!? And what are you doing here!?”
クラウド　感想はいらない　他に方法が無かった	Cloud Nailed it, I know. Thank you. Moving on.	クラウド「この格好は…… 　ここに入るためには　仕方なかった」	Cloud “I’m dressed like this because there was no other way to get in here.”

Tifa then explains what she’s doing there. As with a lot of scenes in Remake, the conversation is basically the same, but with the dialogue largely rewritten in both languages. She reveals that they found some of Corneo’s henchmen lurking around Sector 7 and that she came to confront Corneo directly about it, deciding to pose as a bridal candidate to get inside. The only line that’s exactly the same is the それはそうだけど (sore ha sou da kedo ; “that’s true, but…”) at the end.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	E PC
ティファ　クラウドと別れたあと　七番街に戻ったら　あやしい男たちがいて	Tifa After we made it back to the slums, some guys came around asking all kinds of questions.	ティファ「五番魔晄炉からもどったら　怪しい男がうろついていたのよ」	Tifa “When we got back from the Sector 5 reactor, we saw a weird man.”
ティファ　気になって　調べたら	Tifa So I did some digging…	「その男をバレットがつかまえて　キューッとしめて　話を聞き出したの」	“Barret caught him and squeezed some information out of him.”
クラウド　コルネオの手先だったわけか	Cloud And found out they were Corneo’s men.	クラウド「ここのドンの名前が出たわけか」	Cloud “That’s when the Don’s name popped up.”
	Tifa Right.	ティファ「そう、ドン・コルネオ」	Tifa “Right, Don Corneo.”
ティファ　アバランチのことを　探ってたみたい	Tifa They were interested in Avalanche…	「バレットはコルネオなんて　小悪党だから放っておけって　言うんだけど……」	“Barret told me to leave the lech alone…”
ティファ　でも　それ以上はつかめなくて	Tifa But…I couldn’t figure out why.	ティファ「なんだか気になって　仕方がないのよ」	Tifa “But something’s been bothering me.”
ティファ　だから　直接　コルネオに　聞こうと	Tifa So I thought I’d come and ask the man himself.	クラウド「わかったよ。　コルネオ自身から　話を聞こうってわけだな」	Cloud “I see. So you wanted the story straight from Corneo’s mouth.”
クラウド　無茶だ	Cloud Seriously?
ティファ　オーディションに通りさえすれば　コルネオとふたりきりに　なれるから	Tifa Thought if I could find a way in and get some one-on-one time…	ティファ「コルネオは自分のおヨメさんを　さがしてるらしいの」	Tifa “Corneo is looking for a bride.”
ティファ　いけると思ったんだけど　候補者は　３人いるんだって	Tifa But then I realized I’d only be one of three candidates.	「毎日３人の女の子の中から　１人を選んで……あの……その」	“Everyday, he gets three girls, chooses one of them, and then… …well…”
ティファ　つまり　その中から選ばれないと　この計画も失敗	Tifa And that if he didn’t pick me…it would all be for nothing.	ティファ「とにかく！　その1人に私が選ばれなければ　……今夜はアウトなのよ」	Tifa “Anyway, I have to be the …girl for tonight.”
エアリス　それなら　心配ないよ？	Aerith Then your worries are over, aren’t they?
エアリス　残りのふたりって　わたしたちだもん	Aerith Because the other two candidates are right here.	エアリス「ここに２人いるわよ」	Aeris “We have two here, right?”
	Aerith Right?
	Cloud Right…
エアリス　ほら　３人が仲間なら　問題ないでしょ？	Aerith So yeah! If we’re all in on it, then nothing can go wrong!	エアリス「３人の女の子が　全員あなたの仲間だったら　問題ナシ、じゃないかな？」	Aeris “If you know the three girls, there’s no problem, right?”
ティファ　それはそうだけど	Tifa Uh, I guess not…	ティファ「それはそうだけど……」	Tifa “I guess so, but…”

After Aerith offers to help, Tifa says she doesn’t want to get her involved, using the exact same wording in Japanese and similar wording in English (“get involved”) as Cloud’s line in the original.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	E PSX
ティファ　でも　エアリス　あなたを巻き込むわけには　いかない	Tifa I dunno, Aerith. It feels wrong getting you involved in all this.	クラウド「ダメだ、エアリス！　あんたを巻きこむわけには　いかない」	Cloud “No, Aeris! I can’t have you get involved.”
クラウド　そういう遠慮は　おそらく無駄だ	Cloud Don’t even bother trying to talk her out of it.

Before long, one of the henchmen calls them upstairs.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオの手下　はい皆さん　まだ頭がボーっ　としていると思いますが　オーディションをはじめます	Corneo Lackey Now ladies, listen up. I’m sure you’re still feeling a bit woozy, but tonight’s audition’s about to begin.	「お姉ちゃんたち、時間だよ。　コルネオ様がおまちかねだ！」	“It’s time, ladies. The Don is waiting!”
コルネオの手下　左手の扉の先に階段があるので　あがってきてくださ～い	Corneo Lackey Head out the door to the left and up the stairs. Come on, ladies, let’s hustle.

Kotch instructs them to line up, with almost the exact same dialogue in Japanese.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コッチ　よーし娘ども　ここに整列！	Kotch Okay, my beautiful ladies! Time to line up for the don!	コッチ「よ～し娘ども！」	Kotch “All right, ladies!”
		「ドン・コルネオの前に　整列するのだぁ！」	“Line up in front of the Don!”

The don’s dialogue hasn’t been changed at all in Japanese, except for a few words. With the new voice acting, we get to hear his odd horse laugh in English this time, instead of having it written out as “hmm”s. E Remake also does a fantastic job of making him sound like an arrogant creep.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオ　ほひ～！	Don Corneo Ladies!	コルネオ「ほひ～！　いいの～、いいの～！」	Don Corneo “Hmmm! Good, splendid!”
コルネオ　いいの～　いいの～	Don Corneo Nice. Very nice!
コルネオ　どのおなごにしようかな～　ほひ～ほひ～	Don Corneo Whichever one shall I pick?	コルネオ「どのおなごにしようかな？　ほひ～ほひ～！」	Don Corneo “Now, let’s see… Which girl should I choose? Hmm—hmm—!”
コルネオ　おまえにしようかな～？	Don Corneo Shall I pick you?	コルネオ「このコにしようかな～？」	Don Corneo “This one?”
コルネオ　それとも　おまえかな～？	Don Corneo Or maybe…you?	コルネオ「それともこのコかな～？」	Don Corneo “Or this one?”
コルネオ　ほひ～　決めた決～めた！	Don Corneo Oh yeah! I’ve got it! I’ve got it!	コルネオ「ほひ～！！　決めた決～めた！」	Don Corneo “Woo-hoo, I’ve made up my mind!!”
コルネオ　今日のお嫁ちゃんは～	Don Corneo Today’s bride-to-be is…	「今夜の相手は……」	“My choice for tonight is……”

Corneo chooses Cloud by default this time around. In a funny twist E Remake’s use of “big-boned” actually comes from the original Japanese’s 骨太 (honebuto ; “big-boned/sturdy”), while J Remake’s 強気 (tsuyoki ; “confident/strong”) is slightly reminiscent of the original English’s “healthy-looking.”

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオ　今日は　この強気なおなごだ！	Don Corneo Today’s lucky lady is the big-boned girl!	コルネオ「この骨太のおなごだ！」	Don Corneo “This healthy-looking girl!”
コルネオ　ほひ～！　こばむしぐさが　ういの～　うぶいの～	Don Corneo Still playing hard to get? I can dig it. Oh yeah.	「そのこばむしぐさが　ういの～、うぶいの～」	“I love chickies who play hard-to-get! Yeowza!”
コルネオ　あとは　オマエらにやる！	Don Corneo The leftovers are all yours.	コルネオ「後はオマエたちにやる！」	Don Corneo “You can have the rest!”

Cloud and Corneo are left alone together, with some more dialogue straight from the original. E Remake keeps the “daddy” from PSX, but otherwise gives the writing a spectacular upgrade, as usual.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオ　さあ子猫ちゃん　俺の胸へカモ～ン！	Don Corneo Don’t be shy, little kitten. Shimmy on over and give daddy some sugar!	「さあコネコちゃん…… 　俺のムネへカモ～ン！」	“All right, pussycat… Come to daddy!!”
コルネオ　照れなくても　だいじょうぶ　誰もいないよ？	Don Corneo No need to play coy. Nobody here but you and me…	「テレなくても　だいじょうぶ。　２人きりだよ……」	“Don’t be shy. We’re all alone now…”
コルネオ　ほひ～　よく見ると　かわいいの～！	Don Corneo You’re even cuter than I thought!	コルネオ「ほひ～、何度見ても　カワイイの～」	Don Corneo “You’re so cute, I never get tired of looking at you.”

Meanwhile, Aerith and Tifa face a crowd of Corneo’s henchmen. The dialogue here is actually fairly similar to what you see when Cloud isn’t chosen in the original game, except Kotch is speaking instead of Scotch. It’s more or less rewritten, but a few words and phrases haven’t changed, like “we’ve got guests” in English.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コッチ　おまえら　お客さんだ　仲良くするんだぞ	Kotch Ayo, fellas, we’ve got guests! And y’all got first crack at “entertaining” them!	ソッチ「おいお前ら！　お客さんだ」	Scotch “Hey guys! We’ve got guests.”
		「た～ぷりと　かわいがってやんな」	“We’ll take REAL good care of you.”
コッチ　これも　コルネオ様のはからいだ	Kotch Courtesy of the ever-generous Don Corneo himself!	ソッチ「これもみなビッグな　ドン・コルネオの　おかげだぞ！」	Scotch “This is all thanks to the big boss, Don Corneo!”
コッチ　感謝の心を忘れんなよ	Kotch Never forget—the don provides!
コルネオの手下　コルネオ様　ばんざーい！	Corneo Lackeys Corneo!	「へ～い！！　ドン・コルネオ　バンザーイ！！」	“Heeey!! Three cheers for Don Corneo!!”
ソッチ　さて　お嬢さん方　準備はいいかい？	Scotch So, ladies. Ready to…get to it?	ソッチ「へへへ…… 　さて、用意はいいかい　おじょうさん？」	Scotch “Heh, heh… Well ladies, are we all, uh ready?”

The girls bust out their moves, and one of the lackey’s cries out in frustration using この野郎 (kono yarou). “Yarou” is basically a derogatory way to refer to someone, akin to “bastard/asshole/jerk” etc. Scotch also says this to Cloud in the original.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオの手下　この野郎	Corneo Lackey Oh, you stupid—	ソッチ「コノヤロ～！　だましやがったな！　やれ！やっちまえ！！」	Scotch “Goddamn it! Don’t think you’ll get outta this! Get him! Beat the *%#@ out of him!!”

Don Corneo soon gets upset at Cloud and calls for his henchmen, only to discover that they’ve been taken out. Tifa’s dialogue is almost word-for-word with the original in Japanese here, while English morphs it into “Your boys had to learn some manners too” which is a great way of showing her distaste for him while still expressing that help isn’t coming.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオ　おい　誰か来い　この女に　礼儀を教えてやれ！	Don Corneo One of you get in here and teach this bitch some manners!	「だれか！　だれか！！」	“Somebody get in here NOW!!”
ティファ　おあいにくさま	Tifa Sorry, but…	「おあいにくさま。　あなたの子分は　だれもこられないみたいよ」	“Unfortunately, no one’ll be comin’ to help.”
ティファ　あなたの子分は　だれもこないみたい	Tifa Your boys had to learn some manners too.

Cloud changes back into his usual outfit and Tifa presses Corneo for answers. Again, the dialogue is mostly the same here, though leaving out a few lines like the “you tricked me!” bit.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオ　男じゃねーか　なにがどーなってる？	Don Corneo So you’re a man, huh? What are you three up to?	コルネオ「お、オトコ！？　ほひ～、だ、だましたな！！」	Don Corneo “A man!? You tricked me!!”
		コルネオ「お前たちはさっきの！？　な、なにがどーなってるの？」	“You’re the ones from before! Wh…what the hell’s going on?”
ティファ　質問するのは　こっち	Tifa We’ll ask the questions.	ティファ「悪いけど　質問するのは　私たちのほうよ」	Tifa “Shut up, we’re asking the questions now…”
ティファ　七番街のスラムで　手下に何を探らせたの？	Tifa Like: why’d you have men in Sector 7 asking about Avalanche?
コルネオ　はあ　何の話だ？	Don Corneo Huh? Dunno what you’re talking about.
ティファ　しらばっくれても無駄	Tifa Don’t play dumb with me.
ティファ　もう一度　聞くね	Tifa Let’s try again.
ティファ　手下に一体　何を探らせてたの？　言わないと——	Tifa Why did you have men in Sector 7 asking about Avalanche? Spill the beans or…	ティファ「手下に何をさぐらせてたの？　言いなさい！　言わないと……」	Tifa “What did your assistants find out? Talk! If you don’t tell us…”

And we move into the famous scene from the original where the crew threatens Corneo’s private parts. E Remake opts for “them” as in PSX, as opposed to E PC’s “it.” Once more, the text is largely the same in Japanese, with a few tweaks, while the English gets a glow up. I particularly like “They’d hunt me down like a dog!” as opposed to the original’s “I’d be killed!” It’s just so much more vivid and really paints a clear picture of what Shinra is like.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	E PSX	E PC
クラウド　切り落とすぞ	Cloud I’ll cut ’em off.	クラウド「……切り落とすぞ」	Cloud “…I’ll chop them off.”	Cloud “…I’ll chop it off.”
コルネオ　やめてくれ　ちゃんと話す　なんでも話す	Don Corneo Alright, alright! I’ll talk! I’ll talk!	コルネオ「や、やめてくれ！　ちゃんと話す！　なんでも話す！」	Don Corneo “No! Not that! I’ll talk! I’ll tell you everything!”
コルネオ　頼まれて　片腕が銃の男のねぐら　探った	Don Corneo Some guy with a gun for an arm—I was paid to find him!	コルネオ「……片腕が銃の男の　ねぐらを　探させたんだ。　そういう依頼が　あったんだ」	Don Corneo “…I made ’em find out where the man with the gun-arm was. But that’s what I was ordered to do.”
ティファ　誰の依頼？	Tifa Paid by who?	ティファ「誰から？」	Tifa “By who?”	Tifa “By whom?”
コルネオ　ほひ～！　しゃべったら殺される	Don Corneo I can’t tell you that! They’d hunt me down like a dog!	コルネオ「ほひ～！　しゃべったら　殺される！」	Don Corneo “No–! If I told you that, I’d be killed!”
ティファ　言いなさい！　言わないと——	Tifa Well you better…’cause if you don’t…	ティファ「言いなさい！　言わないと……」	Tifa “Talk! If you don’t tell us…”
エアリス　ねじり切っちゃおうか	Aerith I’ll rip ’em off!	エアリス「……ねじり切っちゃう　わよ」	Aeris “…I’ll rip them off.”	Aeris “…I’ll rip it off.”

E PC only noted when it differs from E PSX

Corneo confesses that Heidegger is the one who ordered him to search for Avalanche. As I mentioned previously, “Public Security” is so much more natural than the original’s “Public Safety Maintenance” or “Peace Preservation.”

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	E PSX	E PC
コルネオ　神羅のハイデッカーだ　治安維持部門統括　ハイデッカー！	Don Corneo It was the director of Public Security! Heidegger! It was Heidegger!	コルネオ「ほひ～！　神羅の　ハイデッカーだ！」	Don Corneo “Waaaaaaaaaaah–! It was Heidegger of Shinra!”
		「治安維持部門総括　ハイデッカーだ！」	“Heidegger, the head of Public Safety Maintenance!”	“Heidegger, the head of Peace Preservation!”
ティファ　神羅？　神羅の目的は？	Tifa Shinra!? And what were they planning?	ティファ「神羅ですって！！　神羅の目的は！？　言いなさい！」	Tifa “Did you say the Shinra!? What are they up to!? Talk!”
コルネオ　それだけは　勘弁してくれ	Don Corneo Some things are better left unsaid, ya know!?
エアリス　言った方がいいん　じゃないかなー　言わないと——	Aerith See, I’m not so sure they are. Better keep talking…	「言わないと……」	“If you don’t tell us…”
ティファ　すりつぶすよ	Tifa Or I’ll smash ’em.	ティファ「……すりつぶすわよ」	Tifa “…I’ll smash them.”	Tifa “…I’ll smash it.”

E PC only noted when it differs from E PSX

He then spills Shinra’s plan. The English translation gets it right this time. Shinra doesn’t want to “infiltrate” Avalanche’s base, they want to destroy both them and the base by dropping the plate on them.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオ　ねえちゃん　本気だな　しかたねえから　教えてやるよ	Don Corneo Heh. Alright, you got me. I could never say no to a sexy girl.	コルネオ「ほひ……ねえちゃん……本気だな。　……えらいえらい」	Don Corneo “…You’re serious, aren’t you… …ohboy, ohbooy, ohboy.”
コルネオ　神羅は魔晄炉を爆破した　アバランチとかいう　一味を　アジトもろとも　つぶすつもりなのさ	Don Corneo Since Avalanche blew up two reactors, Shinra’s decided they ought to stamp them out, home base and all.	コルネオ「神羅はアバランチとかいう　ちっこいウラ組織をつぶす　つもりだ。　アジトもろともな」	Don Corneo “Shinra’s trying to crush a small rebel group called AVALANCHE, and want to infiltrate their hideout.”
コルネオ　文字どおり　つぶしちまうんだ	Don Corneo And I mean “stamp out.”	コルネオ「文字どおり、つぶしちまうんだ。　プレートを支える柱を壊してよ」	Don Corneo “And they’re really going to crush them…literally.”
コルネオ　プレートを支える柱を壊してよ	Don Corneo By targeting the support pillar and blowing it up.
ティファ　どういうこと？	Tifa The pillar?	ティファ「柱を壊す！？」	Tifa “Break the support!?”
コルネオ　わかんねえか？	Don Corneo Did I stutter?	コルネオ「どうなるかわかるだろ？　プレートがヒューッ、　ドガガガ！！だ」	Don Corneo “You know what’s going to happen? The plate’ll go PING”
コルネオ　プレートがヒューッ　ドガガガだ！	Don Corneo The plate will come crashing down!	「アバランチのアジトは　７番街スラムだってな」	“and everything’s gonna go BAMMM!! I heard their hideout’s in the Sector 7 Slums…”

Instead of having Corneo be glad that Shinra isn’t dropping the plate on Sector 6, Remake changes the line to refer to how the plate already fell on Sector 6 long ago, which makes more sense within the story. Even in the original, the Sector 6 plate was still under construction, so Shinra couldn’t have dropped it on the Sector 6 slums even if they wanted to.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	English Original
コルネオ　六番プレートの事故と一緒さ	Don Corneo It’ll be Sector 6 all over again.	「この６番街スラムじゃなくて　俺はホッとしてるぜ」	“I’m just glad it’s not here in Sector 6.”

As the crew leaves, Corneo stops them and poses the same question he did in the original. The English is worded so much better this time.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	E PSX	E PC
ティファ　そんな	Tifa They wouldn’t…	ティファ「７番街スラムが　なくなる！？」	Tifa “They’re going to wipe out the Sector 7 Slums!?”
エアリス　ティファ　クラウド　行こう！	Aerith Come on, guys! We gotta go!	ティファ「クラウド、７番街へ　いっしょに行って　くれる？」	Tifa “Cloud, will you come with me to Sector 7?”
コルネオ　ちょっと待った！	Don Corneo Before you do!	コルネオ「ちょっと待った！」	Don Corneo “Just a second!”
クラウド　だまれ	Cloud No.	クラウド「だまれ！」	Cloud “Shut up!”
コルネオ　すぐ終わるから　聞いてくれ	Don Corneo Please! This won’t take long!	コルネオ「すぐ終わるから　聞いてくれ」	Don Corneo “No wait, it’ll only take a second.”
コルネオ　俺たちみたいな悪党が　　こうやってべらべらと　　真相をしゃべるのは	Don Corneo As everyone knows, villains only divulge their plans in a certain situation.	「俺たちみたいな悪党が、　こうやってべらべらと　ホントのことを　しゃべるのはどんな　ときだと思う？」	“How do you think scum like me feels when they babble on about the truth?”	“Why do you think scum like me babbled on about the truth?”
コルネオ　どんな時でしょ～うか？	Don Corneo But what is that situation?
どんな時でしょ～うか？　死を覚悟した時　勝利を確信している時　何がなんだかわからない時	What is that situation? When they’re faced with certain death. When they think they’ve already won. When they’ve lost their minds.	１死をかくごしたとき２勝利を確信しているとき３なにがなんだかわからないとき	They’ve pretty much given up on life They’re sure they’ll win They don’t know what the hell’s going on	Because I’ve given up on life Because I’m sure I’ll win Because I’m clueless

E PC only noted when it differs from E PSX

Our heroes fall to their doom and we cut to President Shinra in his office. The scene follows the same general outline: President Shinra asks about the progress, Reeve objects to the plan, and Heidegger and the president shoot him down. But the similarities end there as the dialogue is largely rewritten. Of particular note is Heidegger’s insult toward Reeve. The Japanese plays on how the word くさい (kusai ; “stinky/smelly”) can also be used to mean “looking/appearing like.” 分別くさい (funbetsukusai) breaks down to into “stinking of distinction” meaning “prudent-looking” and 青くさい (aokusai) is literally “grassy-smelling” meaning “inexperienced/immature/naive”. Heidegger even holds his nose as if something stinks, forcing the English translation to work in this nuance somehow. It goes for “the stench of the director’s cowardice” to mimic this, which works very nicely indeed.

Japanese Remake	English Remake	Japanese Original	E PC
プレジデント　進捗はどうだ？	President Shinra Are we on schedule?	プレジデント神羅「準備のほうは？」	President Shinra “How are the preparations going?”
ハイデッカー　タークスが動いています	Heidegger The Turks are on top of it.	ハイデッカー「ガハハ！！　順調順調！　実行部隊はタークスです」	Heidegger “Gya, haa, haa! Smoothly, very smoothly! I assigned the Turks to this.”
ハイデッカー　はい　順調順調	Heidegger Yes, there will be no delays.
リーブ　プレジデント　どうか計画の見直し　いや　中止を	Reeve Please, Mr. President! I am asking you to reconsider—no, begging.	リーブ「プレジデント！　本当にやるのですか？　たかだか数人の組織を　つぶすのに……」	Reeve “President!! Are we really going to do this? Simply destroy a group with only a few members…”
リーブ　七番街直下のスラムには推計で　およそ　５万——	Reeve The Sector 7 undercity is home to more than 50,000—
プレジデント　リーブ君	President Shinra Director Tuesti.	プレジデント神羅「いまさらナニかね、リーブ君」	President Shinra “What’s the problem, Reeve? You want out?”
リーブ　せめて　避難勧告の許可を	Reeve At least let us issue a warning, sir.	「しかし、私は　都市開発責任者として　ミッドガルの建造、運営の　すべてにかかわってきました。　ですから……」	“But, as head of the Urban Development Department, I have been involved in the building and running of Midgar. That’s why…”
ハイデッカー　また分別くさい顔で　青くさいことを	Heidegger The stench of the director’s cowardice fills the room yet again.	ハイデッカー「リーブ、そういう個人的な問題は　朝のうちにトイレで　流しちまうんだな！」	Heidegger “Reeve, flush your personal problems with the rest of your crap!”
プレジデント　リーブ君	President Shinra Reeve.	プレジデント神羅「君はつかれているんだよ。　休暇をとって旅行でも　行ってなさい」	President Shinra “You’re tired. Why don’t you take a couple of days off and go somewhere.”
プレジデント　これも発展の潤滑油だ	President Shinra Progress requires sacrifice.
プレジデント　腹をくくりたまえ	President Shinra Learn to live with it.